I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
