i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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