why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
