Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
