I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
