What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
