I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
