i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
