My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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