oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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