At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
