whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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