Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
