just come out here and I will go home with you...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
