I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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