Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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