Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
