In America we eat man semen.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
