I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
People in love make me want to vomit
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
