well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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