so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
