when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Pooping to opera.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize