How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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