The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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