I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
