Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
