Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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