I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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