Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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