Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
