Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
