the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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