Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
