That's intense
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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