I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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