i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
