maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
