You're so nebulous sometimes
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
