your parents love me but you hate me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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