her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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