OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I puked a lego.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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