Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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