we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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