I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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