Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
