he shaved USA in his pubs
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
