I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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