Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
