my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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