i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
