Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
