do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
