Pants 0. Shit 1.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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