Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Randomize