Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize