Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Pooping to opera.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
