this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
