You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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