btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am available for nakedness
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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