...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
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I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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