the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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