i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
